First Letter

A new project: letters to my daughter.

My daughter, Reese, was born on June 17, 2024, at 5:48 pm. I wasn't in the room, but I was a few doors down in the labor & delivery ward sitting anxiously on the edge of my courtesy room bed. Her birth mom had texted me twenty minutes earlier that she was about to start pushing. My mom, who had traveled to Neenah, WI with me, was near the hospital picking us up some dinner.

Six hours later, I wrote Reese a letter. At 12:08 am on June 18, 2024, when I was back in that little hospital room by myself. “I cried when you were born,” I started writing. “The nurse came in and said ‘Congratulations’ while I was brushing my teeth.”

Seven months later, I have an imperfect collection of letters I’ve been writing to her. I didn’t write daily (I dare you to write anything substantial as a first-time mom with a newborn, especially as a single parent). But I wanted to document something, to share these early snapshots of who my daughter would grow to be. And also to share who I was becoming. Who I am becoming.

For the last six years, I wrote daily on my blog Life Is About Creating Yourself. The blog started a couple of years after my divorce and chronicled everything from healing from that heartbreak to writing projects and career moves to the beginning, middle, and end of a three-plus-year adoption journey. I am so grateful for the habit. For the history of those six years, recorded forever. However rushed and half-hearted some of those posts were, some were pivotal for me. Writing every day helped me think, helped me connect with myself, and helped me heal.

Reese’s adoption was finalized last month — December 19, 2024. I did not realize how much I was holding my breath until I let it out. With that space, I was called to try something new. I still want to write, but I want to acknowledge this new lens I have on my life. Reese is the filter in which I see the world and in which I see myself right now. I want to be the best parent I can be for her. And I want her to have a model for parenthood where her mom is her full self. As much as I am grateful, forever, for this most important part of my identity (mom), obviously it is not the whole of who I am. I want to honor all parts of myself — from friend to writer to D&D nerd.

Above all, this new project, “Dear Reese” is a love letter to my daughter. A chronicle of who her mom is and how I see the world. A history of our life together in these early years, and perhaps beyond.

Like Life Is About Creating Yourself, I expect this blog will evolve in the writing. I’m new to Substack but I decided to move to this space (rather than WordPress) for the community it offered — and shout out to my friend Jenna &

Have Cake Creative

for helping me make the move. The plan is to continue writing daily — the habit is too engrained — but utilize Substack’s “Notes” for the shorter updates (for longtime blog followers, I don’t plan on doing email notifications for those). Then I’ll write longer posts/letters at least weekly. I may have to experiment to sink into a cadence that feels right.

If you’re reading, thanks for holding this space with me.

Love,

Natalie